POEM: Ten Little Theologs

Ten little theologs, eager to be blessed,
Lined up to put their systems to the test.

Ten little theologs all in a row
One called God "Mother," so he had to go.

One little theolog, discussing poles and fate
Bored the others--and then there were eight.

One little theolog got carried away--
Said the Sermon on the Mount wasn't for today.

One little theolog, intent upon precision,
Drowned in vowel points and lost his vision.

Five little theologs looking pretty glum;
One said the rapture had already come.

Four little theologs fervent as could be,
One went liberal and then there were three.

Three little theologs, wond'ring what to do,
One tried adultery and then there were two.

Two little theologs; in a TV sermon,
One claimed the Antichrist was Peewee Herman.

Last little theolog, perched like a scholar,
Saw himself an opportunity to make himself a dollar:

Called his colleagues' views perverse
And shot them all down in metered verse.

(Alternate ending, no longer applicable since The Door went out of business:
"Pointed out his colleagues' flaws galore.
And shot them down gleefully in The Door.")