PHOENIX MEMORABILIA: Ted, me and the Globe-Trotter

     Ted and I published a newspaper on the Phoenix. We called it the Globe-Trotter.
     Well, we kind of published it. There may have been only one issue (that's all I can find) and there's only one copy of that--in pencil, in Ted's handwriting. But for one glorious moment, we produced the only newspaper in whatever ocean we were on at the time.
     Here's how it reads:

     Begin at North Pole, Go to the nearest part of Canada. (Hint: It is an island.)
     Travel in a straight [line] through David Strait. Keep going until you hit land. Go to the nearest city which begins with B.
     Fly west. When you get to a group of islands where big tortoises live, stop. (Hint: you'll pass Ecuador.)
    Go straight north. When you come to a city in Louisiana, face East and go as many spaces as there are words in the city's name.
     If you are farther from the Hawaiian Islands than from the Sargasso Sea, go to Delhi, India. If not, go to the biggest city in Japan.
     Go to the Nicobar Islands in a straight line. Go 3 times as far past it. (Hint: If you travel 1000 miles to get there, keep going for 3000 more miles in a straight line.) You should now be near a place called South ______.
     Go to a place that sound like sea-shells--if Bikini is a town in Mongolia. If it isn't--go to Ulan Bator.
     Find the very shortest distance to the largest city in the world and go in the opposite direction for the same distance. (Hint: Do you like ships?)
     Go just as far as Queen Maud land toward the Ross Sea.
     Stop.
     The finish is on the exact other end of the earth.
                         Where are you?


     Begin at the South Pole. Go North, straight, until you come to some sort of food (Hint: it's some islands)
     Go toward Africa until you come to Madagascar. (Hint: it's an island.)
     Maybe you're tired of islands by now, so go almost straight North to Sumatra (Hint: it's an island.)
     Then go East til you get to Sumatra and start over again, this time going across the North Pole to Greenland (Hint: it's an island)
     Fly to a boat (Hint, none)


That's all there is. Or at least that's all I've found so far.