ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Momonga

     C.S. Lewis and his brother Warnie had Boxen, the country they imagined into existence in their childhood. The Bronte siblings had their Kingdom of Angria.
     Many other children, never destined to become famous authors, also create fantasy worlds. Mine was the Alphabetabobical Land where lived a menagerie of Animals, Beasts and Creatures. I thought I'd throw these into BONUS FEATURES to add color to your next two weeks. I think I really did draw an animal and write a story for each letter of the alphabet.
     Though once very important to me, I would have forgotten I was the one who wrote/drew them even after I came across the notebook in a folder in a drawer in a file cabinet in a closet in our bedroom if my family hadn't enjoyed it so much and made a fuss over it at the time. (I was ten; I wrote and illustrated this manuscript on our maiden voyage across the North Pacific.) Spelling is uncorrected.

     The Momonga- Some fine day when there's quite a few clouds, look in the sky and maybe you'll see the Momonga*, sailing along with the breeze. Perhaps he'll be twirling his foot with the eight claws on it, to go faster. To make sure it's the Momonga, look at the shape of his body and his colors. You'll know that cannon-shaped head is his. Also his peacock feathers (the ones coming out of the back of his head) are easy to see.
     One day while it was school-time the Momonga landed near our school. The school was out on the plains and only 33 children went to it, for only 33 children lived near the school. The room was dismissed, and we crept out quietly and carefully to take a good look at it. The Momonga didn't see us and began curling down the ends of his claws slowly. When he'd curled all eight, he started walking, stepping with the four claws that would have gone on his other foot, if he'd had another one, and then pulling the other four up, and "inching" out again with the first ones. He had a checker board, crayons, paper, and a book called "Mars", Scotch taped to his wide, flat foot just around the ankle. The colors were ridiculous, but I didn't dare laugh, so I just watched from behind a bush. The cannon-head was pink with orange antennae sticking out from it where the ears ought to have been. One antenna was curled in a ball while the other shot forward and felt around in front of the "beast." Then it came back and curled, whle the second one felt. They made a noise that went "Whizz, zing. Whizz, zing." Sometimes he forgot, because about every 25 "whizz, zings" he whizzed one antenna backwards. He didn't seem to control his antennae.
     I never found out why he had antennae, because he had very good eyes. He heard, but had no ears that I could see.
     The Momonga found a piece of bright orange ribbon that one of the girls had dropped a few days before. He hooked it with one claw and "inched" around behind a big rock. When he came out the other side, the ribbon was tied around his neck. After he'd gone, we looked around the rock, but no animal or person was there that could have tied the ribbon on his neck, and the Momonga couldn't (I don't think) have tied it himself.
     I've discribed this beast as well as I can, so I think you'd just better wait for a nice, sunny day with quite a few clouds.    

*"Momonga" (I put in a footnote) "means 'imaginary animal, used to scare bad children.' (A Japanese word.)"

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Poomf

     The Poomf - To make a baby Poomf, you would need a blue lollipop with an orange stick; some red, dark green, and light green paper; some Scotch-tape or paste; and scissors. Cut the red paper into a small round nose, as shown in the Poomf Picture, a half-moon mouth, and an arrow. The light green is for his round eyes, and the dark green for his egg-shaped foot. Twist the lollipop stick-leg like the picture, and tape on foot and other features. Give it the Magic Touch and there's your beast, alive and happy! Feed him cat whiskers every rainy day, not on other days, or you'll have a seasick creature on your hands. I advise making a baby Poomf the size of your lollipop, although real baby Poomfs are usually ten feet long, fourteen feet if uncurled. Parent Poomfs are more than fifty feet if uncurled.
     In cold weather, wrap your beast in silk scarves (not too many!) and put in a drawer. In hot weather untape and eat your lollipop, before it gets sticky and gooey.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Spat, or Taps

     The Spat (or Taps) - In the times of King Edicopolish Nufantas Durandifate,* there lived a girl called Jessica Margery Reynolds. Her brother, Theodore Andrus Reynolds, added Pucky Puckus Puckup to this, and as the girl clambered around and very often said, "Me a monkey," that was soon also added to her name. So she was called Jmrpppmam, for people were called by their initial in that town C. (Cherryville)
     On the day Jmrpppmam was 100 years old (3 years in our counting) the Spat (sometimes called the Taps) visited C. (Remember C means Cherryville)
     The Spat is the most ugliest "thing" (meaning animal) on Earth, or on any other planet. The only way I can describe it is to say it had a nose like an anteater, eyes like a Martion, out on the ends of strings, and ears like
an African "fan-ear" elephant. I will tell more about the ears, eyes, and snoot later.
     The body was a horse's but the tail looked like he'd gotten it from a dragon, with scales. The front legs were very slim with hawk's talons (5 claws) at the end. The hind legs were completely different, looking like a hobby horse's, on wheels. They were stiff and just rolled along behind.
     There were holes all over him, with pockets clothes-pinned on them. Each pocket had a different kind of food in it. For instance, at lunch-time, the pockets would each have a bit of lunch, some of them bread, soup, or fish.
     The beast didn't have any head besides the ears, eyes, and snoot that Jmrpppmam could see. Whenever she tried to see his head, he'd twitch his ears around in front of his face (if he had one). So there he stood, not moving except for the twitching of his ears.
     Once Tar (her brother's initialed name) was brave enough to touch the Spat (or Taps). He said the skin was cold and clammy.
     The Taps (or Spat) stayed only long enough to chew some grass, spitting it out again. It wasn't grass when he spit it out, but a wooden box marked, "To Jmrpppmam, on her birthday."
     Then he was gone and the girl opened the box. In it were three eggs, each about the size of Jmrpppmam's little fingernail. 4 days later, baby Spats and Taps were born from the eggs, and soon they grew up and layed eggs, and more and more baby Spats and Taps were born from their eggs. And soon 5,000 Spats and 5,500 Taps were running around the town and multiplying. And if you read "King End's feelings about Spats and Taps," I think you will know what happened to the 10,500 Spats and Taps, and why there is a sign by Waterlily Pond, saying, "On March 21, 1963, 10500 Spats and Taps were drowned here. Sniff for them as you go by."
     Mrs. Spat or Taps (the one who gave Jmrpppmam the eggs) died of a broken heart from the death of her children and grand-children. Jmrpppmam killed King End for doing such a bad deed, and everyone lived happily ever after. (Except the Spats and Taps, sniff, and the King)

*He was usually called his initials E.N.D. as they were easier--King End.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: Beek, Rekcarc Erif, Seye, Dnomaid, Nilbog, Beast Ing

     The Beek - This beast is made up of 50 lower teeth, 30 upper teeth, 2 eyes, an upper jaw, and a lower jaw. His teeth are white, his eyes are orange, and the rest of him is a blue-green-ish color. There are only 3 beeks in the whole world, all with monsterous appitites. They each eat food the size of a fat bear each day, although none of them are longer than 2 feet. One beek lives in Australia, one in Africa, and one in America, on my block. I've often asked it where the food goes that it devours, but it just blinks, hiccups, or grinds its teeth together. It's awful sound, the grinding, like someone chewing glass.
     So I dedicate this story to the three Beek brothers, Afr, Aus, and Ame.
     Always ame to do good aus it's better. Don't do bad unless you afr to.

     The Rekcarc Erif - A riddle--What animal is shaped like a fire cracker, has purple horns and doesn't eat? Answer--a rekcarc erif (fire cracker, backwards) of course!
     This animal has one foot for two legs. It inches one leg and that half of the foot, ahead of itself. Then the other half, and slowly it makes its way about.
     Every Saturday night, the Rekcarc Erif turns into firecrackers. At midnight, it goes whizzing up in the sky, exploding and bursting into beautiful flowers and other things, all very colorful, for half an hour. Then it floats gently to the ground, with a new design on its body, stars, flowers or zigzags.
     On the 4th of July, the Rekcarc Erif's birthday, it is so happy it flies on a cloud, bouncing with joy. If there's one thing a R.E. loves, it's having a birthday. On this night, this beast is all lighted up with colored lights. Everytime it bounces, it sends fire crackers from its lights and they go off, bursting in the sky.
     For the occasion, it always has on its very best body designs. After all the firecrackers have been shot off and the R.E. is finished bouncing, it floats down and has a party for itself. As I wrote, it never eats, but in its party, it doesn't even need to eat. It plays "Pin the Tail on the Tree," "Chess," "Rummy," "Hearts," "Old Maid," and "I Doubt It," along with other games, and stranly (sic) enough, it always wins! Then it writes lots of Happy Birthday notes to itself and gives itself lots of presents. Somehow it always seems to get pieces of tree bark, leaves, flowers, grass, and other things around it, but it doesn't mind.
     So on the next 4th of July, if you see some firecrackers, just remember that it's the Rekcarc Erif, bouncing for joy at the thought of having a birthday.

     The Seye - On a dark, windy night, if you're walking through a forest or down a lane and you see two eyes peering blinklessly down at you, don't be scared, it's only the Seye (pronounced Sigh). Here is his tale:
                                                The Seye's Tale
     "Once I was a hoot owl, a beautiful creature, and I could say "hoot" delightfully. One day a woman with a basket over her arm came walking up to me and said, "If I give you this basket of food, will you promise to eat everything in it?"
     I agreed with my mouth watering, and she gave me the basket. I opened it to find all sorts of delicious things in it, and I began eating. But the more I ate, the more food appeared in the basket, and as it never emptied, I knew the woman was a witch. When I stopped, with a stomach ache, the basket was still full. "Ha ha." cackled the witch, "You didn't keep your promise. Your eyes are larger than your stomach." And so saying, she cut out my eyes and a piece of my orange stomach, a pointed egg-shaped piece, and fastened them together, with the piece of stomach in the middle. "You are a Seye now." she said, "For your eyes are too big."
     And ever since then, when I see food, I always think I can eat it all, but I never can, because of the size of my eyes and stomach. Sigh"

     The Dno-maids (don't pronounce first D) -  The Dno-maids are strong beasts and always boys. Rarer than a K in the word Mars, is a girl Dno-maid. Each Dno-maid is made up completely of diamonds, with yellow tinges along the edges. All of them are transparent and can be invisible if the Dno-maid wants.
     These beasts are as fast as quicksilver and as hard as a greased bolt of lightning to catch. They each have diamonds in their body, each worth about $100,000.02. A diamond is always on the top of their head, twirling and whirling for no reason. In their bodies are small diamonds which are their hearts.
     There are 13 Dno-maids, including a King and a Queen. The Queen is rarer than a K in Mars, for it is a she! The King and Queen's son is a funny fellow that keeps them amused, called Prince Jack. The rest of the Dno-maids are servants. The first servant Dno-maid Their Excellencies got was the oldest. The next is one year younger and so on down the line. The King, Queen, and Jack were the first of the Dno-maids, born ten years ago in 1954. Then, in 1955, the oldest servant, Tenpu, was born. After him came Ninechow, Eightkry, Seveno, Sixum, Fivertail, Fourchoo, Threebee, Twoot, and Acetack.
      Their Excellencies let Acetack off half an hour every day, since he had only been born that year.
     Each day, the Dno-maids are allowed one piece of spinch which they all look forward too. All they ever eat is healthy food, vegetables, and food with vitamins.
     They live in a field somewhere in the world, and they move once a year. If you step on something sharp in a field, you may think it a nettle. You're wrong, for it's one a Dno-maid's pointed diamonds. 

     The Nilbog or Thgin Beast
A creepy creature is the Nilbog,
who has lanterns on his ears,
and flies around at midnight
giving little children fears.

He flies to any place he wants
and can twirl his head around,
and make the lanterns look like beacons
so he can hear the ships hit ground.

A mean beast, a goblin,
is the Nilbog or the Thgin
You'd think he might be lonly,
with no others of his kin.

Now don't go through the woods
if you think it is a lark,
You just might see two lanterns
a-shining in the dark.


And then the outline of this beast
would come into your view.
And soon only your clothes and shoes
would be what's left of you.

So children take my warning
And all you grown-ups too,
He's a goblin, this Nilbog is,
and not a thing that just says, "Boo!"

     The Beast Ing (the Bee Sting)  This creature has many friends. Sometimes he plays with the Straight Pin family, the Needles, the Bees, Hornets, and Wasps, the Nettles, and very rarely (when they're left open) the Safety Pins.
     The Beast Ing is peculiar because it adds "ings" to sentences when it's around. For instance, one time 2 men were talking of hunting. One said, "Tomorrow I'll go catch beasts." The Beast Ing came along and roared "Hello" very politely. When the roaring had ended, the man said, "As I was saying, tomorrow I'm going beasting."
     A few times when the Beast Ing came around, a person (or beast) near him would say, "Howing ising youring soning doing?" That meant the creature was too close.
     The beasts (or people) he came near were not always talking. Then he (the Beast Ing) was glad. But if people (or animals) kept chattering and chattering, he calmly pricked them and flew away, not hearing their yell of pain. Once, after he'd pricked a woman, he was flying low, only about a mile from the top of the Empire State Building if stretched a little. Two minutes later when the female chatterer felt the prick, she whizzed up in the air and bumped into Beast Ing, before falling into an elevator just coming to the roof of the E.S. building. She was whooshed down to the ground floor and back up, a few hundred times. Then she was let out, exausted, to go relate the tale to her friends. But she didn't take long to chatter this time!
     So, if you're chattering gayly away and you feel a prick, you may think it's the Beast Ing, but it will only be a nettle or a pin from you're clothing, for the Beast Ing only pricks his fellow beasts now, like the Beek, the Poomf, the Seye, the Umble Fly, the X Beast, and others. He hates noisy cities, and he's learned his lesson from trying to gently prick a honking automobile. He didn't know, how could he have? It was the first time he'd tried it.
     So-longing!

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Fezolomp

     The Fezolomp - This is a crazy beast with three eyes and a long, snake-like body. It silthers along the ground. One Fezolomp was owned by a lady I knew and kept in the back yard of her house like a dog. It had a pen with a dish of food and one of water, a box of sand, and a shelter. The Fezolomp could get out easily but liked the lady and was shy of other people. At seeing someone besides the lady, he lay on his back on the ground and stuck his tongue out shyly.
     Although he is sometimes shy, the Fez can get really angry. If something happens that he doesn't like and is done by someone he doesn't know, he bops them over the head with the ball at the end of his tail, which is filled with iron and is hard for him to lift. Only when he is mad does he have enough strength to lift it. It is lucky he seldom gets angry!

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Golly Wapasus

   

                                                            
     The Golly Wapasus - A beast with two fried eggs for eyes and an eliptical (canoe-shaped) body is the Golly Wapasus. He's very happy and kind when he's down-side-up and has a crew cut but very angry and grumbly when he's up-side-down and his hair is parted in the middle, because then he has a beard. He can't shave and he doesn't have to if his beard is already parted in the middle.
     One day he ate some jumping beans, mistaking them for mashed potatoes. Then how he did hop! He didn't know whether he was sad or happy but he knew he was had! Or was it sappy? He couldn't tell because he was always bouncing around and jumping back and forth up-side-down and down-side-up like a pancake flopping on a griddle. He went smile, frown, smile, frown, smile, frown all over the forest. The animals looked at him, blinked their eyes, and said, "Golly Wapasus. I guess I'll have to go to Dr. Biggersnigie, my eyes are seeing bouncing creatures all over the place." And later that day, Dr. Biggersnigie had all the beasts of the forest at his den, begging to have their eyes checked. He held up his paws to quiet them and said, "You're eyes are perfectly good. I saw it too!"
     To get back to the main subject, the Golly Wapasus. He kept bouncing until the jumping bean's jump wore off. Then he gave a sigh of relief and sat down, with his happy side up.
     But he was always into some mischief or trouble and soon he was hungry. On the shelves of his celler, he had one can with the lable torn off. He opened it to find some thick, cold greenish stuff. One taste turned him over so that he made a sour face. It was something Dr. Biggersnugie had given to him 6 months ago, for cold ears.
     But he soon forgot his hunger, and went off to search for something. He didn't know what it was he wanted, but he hoped it might be an adventure. It was. He found a mouse and scared an elephant with it, skined a live tiger and laughed at him shivering, made a silver bird with straight wings, and called it an airplane. Then he teased the bird by tiing it by a long string around himself and running with it so it flew in the air. This, he said, was kite-fling. He invented a thing-a-ma-bob that would make a whang-doodle work by connecting a thing-a-mee to the corner of the what-cha-ma-call-it three times around twice. He was delighted with it, and named it a telephone.
     Next, he threw coconuts at the monkeys, and they threw him at the banana grove. Then he cried because he was hungry. So he climbed a tree and jumbed out, squashing a pumkin field. And Farmer Iligermanglepopingsnootch came out and shot him, so he ran away laughing heartily.
     And that night, a happy cat slept in the Golly Wapasus's bed, while the G.W. slept on the floor for he didn't want to disturb the panther.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Cloud Creatures

     The Cloud Creatures: On a bright, sunny day when the blue sky had puffy white and gray clouds floating in it, four of the clouds were talking.
     "I can hear some people talking about us." said a cloud looking down on the earth called Squirrel. "They're saying we're so beautiful, different every moment and in many shapes of animals, people, and sometimes just lumps or shapeless. They say one cloud makes up all the others, which is true."
     "I hear them" said a smiling cloud face named Happy. "One is telling of a day he watched one certain group of clouds that looked like a parade."
     "Now he's drawing some pictures." remarked a bumpy cloud, Nosy.
     "Hey, they're of us!" said Big Feet." excitedly. "Oh don't change now, Happy." But all of them floated into different shapes, gradually enough for the man to draw pictures. "There." he said when he'd finished. "Some Cloud Creatures."
     "I like that name." said Squirrel who was a Nothing at the moment. Cloud Creatures."
     And if you look up in the sky on a cloudy day, you may see those four Cloud Creatures, bigger, smaller, in more or less parts, or in much different shapes, but it will be those four, all right.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Kedrap

    

     The Kedrap - The Kedrap is a job stealing beast. He is made up of a large box, open at his right side, and has a blue body to carry it on. He has two pairs of arms, each with 2 extras, and 3 pairs of legs with 3 extras, in case of stubbing his toes or fingers. If this happens, his leg (or arm) falls off, the next one grows its size and takes its place, and a new baby sprouts. There is no curved line of this creature's body and even the flag at the end of him is made with straight lines. These beasts are usually found around stations taking the place of porters or up in the mountains, taking the place of lumberjacks by chopping wood with the flag and carring it down to cold people or saw mills. The Kedrap is a busy beast.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The Lubusnortch and the Jillabub

 
   























     The Lubusnortch - An oceanic beast is the Lubusnortch, which is always found out of sight of land. It paddles around with its round red hands and very snoopily sticks its long nose in the air and closes its eyes.
     It got its name from being shaped like an L and then up like a u and around for a B. It say "snortch" scoffingly at anything said to it.
     Its chief food is fish and its drink salt water but on special occasions when it flies, using its paddle hands for wings, it eats birds it meets, or eggs. When angry, the beast straightens out and stiffens for a whole minute with eyes flashing. Then it's just called a snortch.

     The Jillabub - This creature has four stages of life, baby, infant, toddler and child. At one day, the Jillabub is a baby, oddly shaped and blue-green with orange eyes, mouth, and feet. At 1 week, the infant is bigger, yellow, long tail, blue claws, teeth, and a mean look. The toddler is larger, green, with orange claws, and a hard, leathery tail. It is devilish and deadly at 1 month. When the Jillabub is a full-grown child at 1 year, it is its smallest size, egg-shaped, orange, and cute. It dies soon afterwards.
     One Jillabub I knew was 1 month old when I knew him. Each time he roamed the town, 1 person was found missing. His leathery tail would slap anyone in his way, and I'm sure the slap was felt. People got so scared they locked themselves in their houses and never came out. The fate of the shops were left to the Jillabub and he had a wonderful time eating the food. He liked it so much he forgot to be mean and was very kind to the people from then on.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: Wraggy Binkle, Harench, Uffix, Quilsch

    
     The Wraggy Binkle  - The "W" in the Wraggy Binkle's name has two meanings, as all the other letters do also. One meaning is what he is and one what he isn't. He is not wasteful, but wragged. For the "R," he isn't rong, he's right. The "A" means, he's not American, he's Arabian. For one "G," he's not gastly, he's greedy. For the other, he isn't greedy, he's gastly. The "Y" means, he's not yippy, but he is yys. He's like his cousin Braggy Wrinkle, because he does brag. What he doesn't do with the "B" is bounce. For "I," he's very interesting, but not incouraging. The "N" is easy, he's not notty, but is nice. "K" means not Kareful, but Kute. For the "L," he's not lovely, but loveable. Last and least, the "E" means he isn't Edible, but Endable, and this is the end. You know more about the beast than I do.

     The Harench -The first words Prince Davie of Whittlebury spoke in his whole life were, "Me wanta Harentch." (pronounced "Har-ench") So all the nobles got together to see what they could do about this Harench (pronounced "Bubble gum"). No one knew what it was, and no one knew where they could find out. King Edmund, Davie's father, offered 10 thousand kimbs to the person who could find a Harench (pronounced Harumph) for little Davie. After 49 of the 50 wise men had been called in vain, the last was called in. Yeribic, the wise man, suggested, "Fy don't you ask Prince Davie himself?" This was done, and Davie answered, "A Harench isa wed anmal with a boo tail, and gween biad."
     So the nobles were sent all over the world to find a red animal with a blue tail and a green beard. They each came back the next year, none with a beast like the described. Further reports from Davie said this beast had a saddle on his back, curly ears, and five feet. The nobles took another year off, but no Harench could be found. Finally Yeribic asked the prince why he wanted it and how big it was. The answer was, "as big as my hand and to hang on a chain around my neck." So a townsmith made a Harench (pronounced Bubble Gum, remember) as big as Davie's hand, and an artist painted it. And forever afterward, Davie was happy with his Harench and he always wore it on a chain about his neck. All the nobles were happy and everyone was gay, and they all lived happily ever after.

     The Uffix - "Once I was an ending, a beautiful Suffix, and I looked rather like a rabbit. I had an enimy, the Bumph though, and one day he got [cut?] off the top of my ears and the end half of my body, calling me an uffix now. I couldn't walk until my friend, the Bumph, gave me some balloons. He tied them to my waist and held me up so I could walk, but I was always so scared the balloons would pop, I went and told the Bumph, my friend. On the way, I met a crow, who politely pecked the balloons. So I stayed there (I couldn't walk) and cried. Soon my friend the Bumph came by with a large wheel he was using for a hoop. I asked him if he'd let me have it to hold me up for it fit just exactly right, so he nailed it on. I'm very happy now since the Bumph did. . ."

    The Quilsch - One day I was going down the street when I saw an antique shop. I went in to explore, and, among other things I saw a table with the surface like a quilt, with different squares of designs. I bought it and took it home. Then I asked it what its name was. It answered, "The Quilsch."
     "Why." I asked. "Why are there two squares of dark blue-green? And why do each have a dot in them?"
     "Eyes." it said simply. "A guy's gotta see, doesn't he?
     "Yes," I'd noticed that a black square on the bottom row had been opening and shuting like a mouth as he spoke. I said:
     "I suppose the brown square is your nose and the black your mouth?"
     "You yap quite a bit," it said. Then it took the two legs nearest me, kicked me with them like a donkey, and ran out the door.

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: Vimblefly, Ebiltoo, Yumber Dox, Zchnerrouch

     The Vimblefly - The Vimblefly flies as any other invertebrate creature does although it is not an insect. It is a vimblefly for vumbs. It can fly in any direction it pleases and is beautifully colored. When he's happy, he uses his red side and if he's sad, he turns inside-out and had his grey side showing. He is always thirsty and hungry because everytime he eats or drinks something, it goes right out the other end and he's hungry once more. If he sits on the ground to eat, his food stays in him only until he flies away. It is left behind in a heap.
     One Vimblefly I owned was the only one that would vit my vumb when I sewed. It got smart and had a piece of tin put on it so the food stayed in him. There were two troubles about this! One, I couldn't wear him any more and secondly, the food didn't digest, although he was full from then on, and got stale.
     There are ten rules all Vimbleflies have to obey:
     1. A vimblefly lives 10 years, no more, no less.
     2. Each Vim. lays 2,465 eggs a year.
     3. They lay eggs for 9 years.
     4. 22,185 eggs are laid by each Vim. in its lifetime.
     5. Each Vim. eats 2 doz. niperkoos a month.
     6. Each Vim. eats 288 nips. a year.
     7. 2,880 nips. in a Vim's. lifetime.
     8. Each nip. eats 2 doz. Vims. a month.
     9. 2,880 Vims. in 10 years are eaten by nips.
   10. A nip. lives 10 years also.

     The Ebiltoo -  This beast is ebiltoo do any carpentry work. He is made up of a saw, hammer, and pockets to keep nails, screws, tape, and such like in. The creature has eyes, arms, and wings and flies to wherever he's going to work. He's handy to here for making houses, etc., because he saws each tree he's going to use, takes out a nail and pounds it on the board, taking only 3 seconds for this.
     One Ebiltoo I knew worked so fast, he came right around and hit and blunted the saw-part of him with his hammer. Had to buy a new saw and have an operation to put it on. A few weeks later, I learned he'd sawed off his arm by mistake. Poor fella! Next thing I knew, he'd nailed his second arm onto his saw-part. He wasn't so bright, because he worked faster than ever from then on. More accidents happened but I won't make you sick by telling them now.

     Yumber Dox - This creature is not, absolutely NOT to be confused with the Burr Dox. He is red and white checkered, with 10 different colored legs and long blue hair. He walks all over the forest, dragging his hair behind him and then goes home in the evening. He combs out his hair and puts all the things that were stuck in his hair, in his trophy box.
     On Cristmas, friends tie presents in his hair when he's not looking, and he is very surprised when he combs his hair out. His hair is rathr like a dragging Christmas tree.
     One Christmas, a mean Fwoozlelump saw the Yumber Dox dragging his presents tied to his hair and he cut off all the long, beautiful blue hair. Oh, but the beast was sad when he found his trophy getter got off. Luckily the Fwoozlelump was beaten soundly with the Yumber Doxe's egg beater, and he got the presents back, with his friends' help. His hair grew back within a week or so but was green.

     The Zchnerrouch - Poor Zchnerrouch! Always said is he, for this beast has his feelings sticking out all over. They are long, tangled light green feelings, coming out of the middle of his orange body. This creature has many friends but everytime one comes near, he steps on a feeling. "Zchnerr-ouch." says the beast.
     One day a friend said, "Why don't you put your feelings in this?" and he gave the Zchnerrouch a box. Soon many friends gave him boxes but he left them lying around and half the time friends stepped on his boxes, which made him sadder than ever.
     One friend finally thought of an idea. "Wrap your feelings all around your body." he said. "Then you'll be warm and you won't be stepped on." So the Zchnerrouch tried this but complained it was too hot to do on a hot summer's day like it was. Other beasts tried to think of ideas, but none were the right one. So far as I know, the Zchnerrouch is still crying because his boxes and feelings are being stepped on. Poor Zchnerrouch!

ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: The X Beast

     The X Beast - The X Beast is shaped like his name, with hands, feet, eyes, nose, and mouth. The nose is exactly in the centre, where the lines cross. The eyes are strung on like beads so that if he stood on his hands, his eyes would rattle down as far as they could go. His mouth is made so if he smiles, his legs and arms are farther apart, and if he puckers, they're very close together.
     One X Beast puckered and kept his legs and arms apart, so his mouth fell out and got lost. His arms and legs went right together and he fell down. It serves him right for puckering and when he found his mouth he was very happy and never puckered again. He had learned his lesson.

RULER OF ALPHABETABOBICAL LAND: Alphabetabobical Beast

     The Alphabetabobbical Beast - The ruler of all the Alphabet creatures lives in Alphabetabobbical land. All the Alphabet Beasts live in the Alphabetabobbical Forest. There is a river in this land, shaped like this:

In the smaller part that is roped off, is for the things (beasts or humans, or sometimes just "things) that don't want to fish. It was debobbicated of fish, so that only swimming is done there. Anything (usually things) thingish enough to fish in that part where there are no fish, is pretty thingish, I must say. The larger part is for boating and fishing.
     The Alphabetabobbical Park has 200 apple trees, 150 cherry trees, and 100 plain shade trees, elm, acorn, palm, elm, etc. There are also benches, squirrels, ponds, grass, flowers, occasionally people (or things) etc.
     Between the park and the forest is the Alphabetabobbical's palace with a moat around it. It's just a house, really, but the alphabet creatures don't have houses, so one looks to them like a palace.
     The army of soldiers that are ready for battle live at the palace, in case their enemies, the (sound you make while frowning quietly, not spelled with any of the letters of the alphabet) should attack them.
     Their enemies also had a spare army at their palace, and a lake and mountains, but their whole land could fit nicely in the A's river, with space to move. While the enemies had 4,262 spare armies, the Alphabetabobbicals had 4,263 armies in a spare corner of the forest. In the Other Land (that's what they call the enemie's land) there were 4 groups of Others. The kinds of Others are:
     1. The Others (including King, main group)
     2. The Thers
     3. The Hers
     4. The Ers (sometimes Rs, when bad) (none of Others spelled with 39 alphabetical letters, decoded
     Each group had 4,000 Others living in that "finger" of the Other Land. The land they lived in was shaped like this: uuuu --It is the most southern part of the Other Land.
     Sometimes, when the Others are especially good, the King makes them Bothers, and they have a feast. Then all the other groups are promoted, the Thers to Others, the Hers to Thers, etc.
     To explain better, the sound you make when you frown quietlys are divided in 4 parts. I've written those parts. They aren't spelled that way and aren't pronounced that way, since there all sounds like when you frown quietly, or something, so they can't be spelled with alphabetical letters. Take 10 minutes off to figure it out.
     Have you solved it? Thanks, now explain it to me.
     The hills in the Other Land have three peaks, like so: mmm. Each is precisely the same shape, one 300 feet high, one 500, and one 600 feet.
     The two lands are each surrounded by a high wall, with sentrys posted at each corner. Alphabetabobbical Land has 20 sentrys and 10 corners so that each corner looks like this:   /sentrys, one to look over one side of the wall and one to look over the other side.
     The Others had a round wall around their land, so they had no sentries. Their wall was made completely of barb wire, and was 2 feet high. But as the Alphabetabobbicals never went out of the wall (there were no gates) they didn't know how tall it was. All the sentries that looked out of their land, and towards the Other land, were rather in the habit of dreamily throwing rocks down on anything that came out from the Other Land so they could [n't? ink blot here] see them.
     One day one of the Other's armies attacked. There was a long hard battle fought, and after 3 weeks, the starved Others retreated. They trudged wearily back to the place where the spare armies were kept, and the next army all ready for battle marched to take their place at the palace.
     The next day the Alphabetabobbical King was indeed astonished at reading the front page of the Alphabetabobbical Monthly paper. The headlines were:
                             "Great Fight Between Others and Thers of Enemy Army"
     The paper said:
"For three weeks, the Others and Thers of the enimy army in the Other Grounds have been fighting each other for some strange reason. Ideas have been that the army might have gone mad or mistaken each other for the Alphabetabobbicals. More males needed for sentries. Please apply to the Alphabetabobbical Press, Route 33rd tree to left of hill, 3rd limb of 4th branch from top, on right, near end of leaves." There was a large picture of a coconut in the middle of the page. Or was it a fuzzy head?
     All the creatures in the forest were astounded too, when their paper came.
     In the forest were three tall peaks, one 32,000 feet high, one 64,000 feet, and the highest was 114,000 feet. The highest had a cave in it called "The Cave of the Terrible Squash." It was well known and had a long history which I will relate now:
Once a giant lived in the cave and was called the Terrible Squash. He was not mean and usually very kind, but as his thumb was 38 feet long, he saw creatures our size as we see a molecule or an adam. So he lived in this cave and squashed creatures everywhere he went in the forest. One day he didn't come and when a beast came some weeks later to see why he didn't roam about, he found the giant dead in the cave. So he called all the other beasts and they cut off the thumb of the Terrible Squash and hung it in the cave entrance with the initials "T.S." on his fingernail, so that anything coming to the cave could remember this giant. In the entrance  
of the room he was found dead in, these beasts hung his teeth, like so: [see manuscript] And his hair hung like a curtain across another entrance, like zeese: [see manuscript]
     And all the beasts lived happily ever after. Their stories are somewhere in this book if you want to read them.

       

PHOENIX INTERVIEW: Pixie from Ohio

From N.Z. Women's Weekly, New Zealand, January 12, 1956.

PHOENIX MEMORABILIA: Ted, me and the Globe-Trotter

     Ted and I published a newspaper on the Phoenix. We called it the Globe-Trotter.
     Well, we kind of published it. There may have been only one issue (that's all I can find) and there's only one copy of that--in pencil, in Ted's handwriting. But for one glorious moment, we produced the only newspaper in whatever ocean we were on at the time.
     Here's how it reads:

     Begin at North Pole, Go to the nearest part of Canada. (Hint: It is an island.)
     Travel in a straight [line] through David Strait. Keep going until you hit land. Go to the nearest city which begins with B.
     Fly west. When you get to a group of islands where big tortoises live, stop. (Hint: you'll pass Ecuador.)
    Go straight north. When you come to a city in Louisiana, face East and go as many spaces as there are words in the city's name.
     If you are farther from the Hawaiian Islands than from the Sargasso Sea, go to Delhi, India. If not, go to the biggest city in Japan.
     Go to the Nicobar Islands in a straight line. Go 3 times as far past it. (Hint: If you travel 1000 miles to get there, keep going for 3000 more miles in a straight line.) You should now be near a place called South ______.
     Go to a place that sound like sea-shells--if Bikini is a town in Mongolia. If it isn't--go to Ulan Bator.
     Find the very shortest distance to the largest city in the world and go in the opposite direction for the same distance. (Hint: Do you like ships?)
     Go just as far as Queen Maud land toward the Ross Sea.
     Stop.
     The finish is on the exact other end of the earth.
                         Where are you?


     Begin at the South Pole. Go North, straight, until you come to some sort of food (Hint: it's some islands)
     Go toward Africa until you come to Madagascar. (Hint: it's an island.)
     Maybe you're tired of islands by now, so go almost straight North to Sumatra (Hint: it's an island.)
     Then go East til you get to Sumatra and start over again, this time going across the North Pole to Greenland (Hint: it's an island)
     Fly to a boat (Hint, none)


That's all there is. Or at least that's all I've found so far.

PHOENIX MEMORABILIA: Guest book

Some of the entries in our Phoenix guest book:

"I must go down to the seas again/to the lonely sea and the sky" Masefield

"Tahiti"

"Te Vega"

Diddikai

"Nordlys"

"Jeanne Matilde"

"Shellback"

My personal favorite, the Jacobsen's "Jessica"! They even had two girls my age: "Candy" and "Honey" (officially Candace and Pam).

PHOENIX MEMORABILIA: Captain's logs

These are the logs (official records) Skipper kept around the world, into the Pacific nuclear test zone and to the Nakhodka, USSR.

PHOENIX MEMORABILIA: My journals (ages 10-14)

     These are the journals I kept as we sailed around the world, 1954-1958. Mum later had them bound as sturdy ledgers. Over the next few days I'll show you peeks inside each of them. You'll see a change in hand-writing and hopefully a maturation in style and content. I start adding illustrations in the margins in volume 3 or so.
     You'll also see pages showing evidence of an extra large wave which came down the hatch or through a porthole and ink smudged or smeared by any one of our (mostly serial) cats.

MY JOURNAL: Glimpses into Vol 1 (age 10)

Frontispiece, first journal: August 24, 1954 - November 9, 1954
First two weeks of Pacific crossing 

Waiting out typhoons before leaving Japan for Hawaii

Leaving Hiroshima dock October 4, 1954: "At least a thousand people were there
to see us off and everyone (including us) had streamers."

Dad becomes "Skipper"

"Dad has changed his name. He is not Dad, Earle, or Dr. Reynolds any more. He's Skipper, so when I write about Skip, you'll know who I mean."

MY JOURNAL: Glimpses into Vol. 2 (ages 10-11)

Nov 10, 1954  - Sept 11, 1955
Pacific crossing, Hawaii, Society Islands,
Rarotonga and American Samoa.

Crossed the International Date Line on Thanksgiving, 1954--so we had TWO of them and Mum made TWO Thanksgiving dinners!

Sighting Kauai after 47 days at sea.

Skipper installed electric lights on board in Honolulu.

Note: Jessica's Journal was taken from volumes 2 and 3.

MY JOURNAL: Glimpses into Vol. 3 (ages 11-12)

Sept. 12, 1955 - May 22, 1956
American Samoa, Fiji, New Zealand, Australia,
and the Barrier Reef to Townsville.

Marine biology lesson floats by between Fiji and New Zealand.

We lasso albatrosses for our amusement.

CHRISTMAS DAY--and BOXING DAY--in Auckland!

Jessica's Journal was taken from volumes 2 and 3.

MY JOURNAL: Glimpses into Vol. 4 (age 12)

May 23, 1956 - Jan. 8, 1957
Great Palm Island, Cairns, Cooktown, Thursday Island,
Timor, Bali, Java, Keeling-Cocos, Rodrigues, Mauritius,
Durban and part of the trip from Durban to Capetown.

"An exuberant wave [from cyclone in Indian Ocean] carried this book off my lap and across the cabin."

Halloween: Mickey wins first prize wearing Mum's hula costume.

Ted has his first sewing lesson. . .

. . . attempting to mend his parka while lying in his bunk.

Cats, Hobson's Choice and mother Manuia, playing tag.

Indonesia: visiting modern dance class with a friend; then, "Horrors! I fit in my shorts."

At a friend's farm near Durban: Seeing in the new year.